Made for… Connection

Jesse Ziegler

I want to introduce you to Jesse Ziegler… he is Reno’s Poet Laureate, one of our prayer partners, and you have, no doubt, seen him around the Rock. He and his lovely wife Amanda have chosen to make the Rock their church home. I’ve asked Jesse to come and share his interpretation of how we are “Made for Connection”. 

So Jesse, welcome!  I wonder if you might share with us some of your thoughts around this idea: 

Some of us find it really difficult to connect with others because of past experiences that didn’t meet our expectations or because we are just on the shy side. Tell us why you think connection can be so difficult.

Sometimes putting ourselves out there is too much of a stretch for our comfort zone because of being shy or feeling awkward. Sometimes putting ourselves out there brings up previous woundedness and/or disappointment. Sometimes there is simply an assumption of failure to some degree. Sometimes there is a lack of perceived self worth which leads to a fear of falling short of other people’s expectations and/or a feeling of not being good enough to maintain initial connections. Sometimes the difficulties in making connections are rooted in logistical elements such as a busy work schedule, lack of reliable transportation, responsibility for care of others such as children or aging parents or a lack of auxiliary income to be able to meet up at a venue where it’s expected to make purchases of some sort. I’m sure there are other aspects of life which might inhibit connections somehow, but these were the ones I could immediately think of.

How do you find “your people”and how do you make yourself take the risk required for connection?

I find my people through my faith based involvement and my arts based involvement. I have made myself take the risk required for connection by becoming a community leader as the creative director of Monday Night Poetry, a companionship volunteer with Gentiva Hospice, a group facilitator of the True Colors Poetry sessions at Our Center, a prayer warrior as a regular church member of The Rock and an active poet in western Nevada as well as Northern California and Las Vegas.

*So what you’re really saying is connection is something you’ve had to invest in, take risks for and work at! There something really beautiful and important about allowing yourself to be seen.

Absolutely! It is often attributed to Thomas Jefferson but I’m not certain as to the source “If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done” I grew up feeling unintended and unwanted due to my own woundedness. This is not to lay blame at the doorstep of my blood family which was always very small. I think it speaks to a deep longing in me at an early age that was never widely satisfied. C.S. Lewis wrote “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” I understood from a young age, after literally nearly dying by drowning on two separate occasions, that if my depression and unsatisfied longings lead to self harm that my mother would never be able to recuperate. As such I realized as a young adult  it wasn’t a viable option for me to merely endure this world and gut it out for the entire duration of my life in the hopes of a better life in the next  world which may or may not even exist. The alternative to causing myself grave harm was helping to do everything I personally could to help create a world in which I’d want to live. This would obviously include a sense of family and friends which would fill up my cup and reciprocally allow for me to pour out to others who would actually appreciate it rather than mock it. Later, in coming to faith, this would be referred to as “Kingdom Living”. As Rumi said “The cracks are where the light gets in” Ultimately I’ve realized my goal all along has been to become an adult who would’ve helped save me as a child. Only God has the power to  truly save or condemn. However, by connecting with others; truly, deeply and authentically beyond surface level, we get to be advocates, ambassadors and agents of change who help set the stage for others to find their light with assistance from the Holy Spirit. That is the greatest sense of purpose, meaning, calling, belonging and chosen family that I’ve personally found in this life in this world. 

I know some of us are asking, is connection really worth it?

Absolutely. The single greatest opportunity and feeling this life has to offer us is being a part of something larger than just ourselves. The utmost example of this is a deeply abiding connection with the source of all life. Everything else flows from that connection. We may often feel lonely but it is important to remember that we are never alone. We were made to be hardwired for community of some kind. People may have hurt us in the past or let us down but (Spoiler Alert) everyone will hurt us and disappoint us eventually if we know them long enough and well enough. It also might mean that they weren’t for us in the long run but rather a specific reason or a season. Comfort zone is the enemy of growth. Happiness is most real when shared. 

Talk for just a minute about how you have been able to connect with God. How did that develop and what does that look like?

I have most consistently and thoroughly connected with God across my entire life by reading, writing and sharing poetry. I did not fall in love with Jesus until I was 28 years old. I realize looking back that God was pursuing me through the art form long before that in addition to my love of nature/creation. I’m still most frequently able to connect with God through reading and sharing scripture, time in nature, prayer, Bible study, community conversations, morning devotionals, all things poetry, group chats with other believers, meditation/listening prayer, podcasts, inspirational music, men’s breakfast meetings, photography group meetings, mentoring and being mentored by chosen family and reading supplemental material.

Does connection with God affect your connection with others?

For sure. Knowing that I’m connected to God, knowing that relationship is rooted in love and being sustained by it allows for me to have a home base in everything I do. My home is wherever I roam. As such it’s like the difference between a circus performer with a safety net below versus one who works without one. If I know I’m loved and I know I don’t have to fear dying then I am free to love others with abandon and brave vulnerability. I’m free to serve and encourage others without being too concerned with rejection or disappointment. I’m free to risk everything because I know my life is in God’s hands. It makes it easier to stretch well beyond my personal comfort zone mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually when I know that I’m being lead by the spirit. Also, as I step fully into my authentic self, finding my deepest identity in Jesus, answering my calling to be a poet and a counselor, I give others permission around me to step boldly into the fullness of their truest selves. This, in turn, makes it easier to find my people. My tribe. My chosen family.