Warm puppy breath across my ankles, belly up, legs extended with toe nails like small tacks. I lie awake after four and half hours of sleep, seemingly able to relax. Light grows in the room as the sun over the blue-greens begins, in the distance, to rise. The roosters are crowing while it is the indigo, not to my surprise. The fan is unnecessarily blowing, and a dirt bike later comes up the road. The simple life I love in another visit to the farm, a day or two before fireworks explode. Friends all over the country, friends all over the planet. Most won’t see the limestone outcroppings, third hill, the animals, or the granite. What was hell on earth for me for many months, has become somewhat of an oasis now, as somewhere I believe God winks and smiles. A change of heart and attitude, with a fresh start and Sara B’s ‘Many the Miles’. The puppy doesn’t have a name yet. My energy came and went. This game of life spent most of what I had, with not much that I still grasp. Time takes its toll, we reevaluate goals, and humility looses the clasp. When I dream it is brief and incoherent. When I pray it is usually short and sweet. I want the still voice to know when I hear it, and my empty words to be edit, select all, delete.
Will I read the books I’ve already bought? Will they simply accompany me in my next moves. They won’t fetch a price, but the idea is nice, and my time spent doesn’t prove. I return to the puppies’ breath. It is real and it is now. In some way that is enough for today. Somehow. Driving with music will be done in the AM. Harper’s Ferry perchance by night. Why am I among those who continue to do wrong, while trying to justify it as right? I ask to be taught and then despise when it happens. I am like a stubborn child pushing his plate away. But I digress, I learn nevertheless, and puppy breath suggests a decent day.